When Wishes are Kisses

A kiss is a beautiful, albeit fleeting, moment of connection. It is a silent language that communicates value, shared energy, and a desire for goodness to thrive between two people. While it can be a spark of momentary desire, we often seek to extend that spark into something deeper and more meaningful.

Our wishes operate in much the same way. They often begin as fleeting thoughts—brief flickers of "what if." While most remain unsubstantial, when a certain wish begins to surface repeatedly, it demands more than a passing glance. It deserves our full attention.

Breaking the Hegemony of "More" Too often, we weave complicated lives by buying into societal hegemony. We collect debts and desires attached to the ego, feeding a capitalist cycle that whispers, “Want more, buy more.” This pursuit is taxing on the nervous system; maintaining a facade of success through possessions is exhausting. We rush to be the "perfect" child, spouse, or professional, using a yardstick that isn't ours.

To find clarity, we must observe our desires from an outside perspective. We must separate external pressures from our internal truths. This distinction is vital because when we are finally ready for change, the "things" we hold dear often become the blocks that prevent our wishes from coming true.

End Goals vs. Means Goals Just as a kiss can lead to a deeper bond, our wishes must be rooted in meaningful connection to manifest. This requires a shift in focus from means goals to end goals.

The Universe rarely responds to a request for "more money" because money without purpose is hollow. Instead of asking to win the lottery, ask yourself what you would do with that wealth. When you identify the experience you crave rather than the currency required to get there, the path unfolds. While winning the lottery is rare, reaching your goals through the Universe’s "ways and means" is surprisingly common—provided you know what you are truly asking for.

A Lesson from the Sea When I planned my gap year at age forty-six, my initial "means goal" was to find a job overseas. I remembered teaching in England in 2001; while it was a great experience, the job tied me to one place. I wanted movement. I wanted culture.

After examining my finances, I realised that if I lowered my cost of living, I didn't need to work at all. I told the Universe my end goal: I wanted to travel. Specifically, I wanted to sail—a dream I’d held since I was ten years old.

The Universe delivered, though not in the way I had choreographed. I met Thomas, who asked me to sail around the world with him. By letting go of the need for traditional security and the "means" of a steady paycheck, I was able to live the dream.

The Freedom of Letting Go Transitioning to this life wasn't easy. It required a rigorous examination of my beliefs to determine which were mine and which were social constructs. I had to sacrifice predictability and trade "stability" for the unknown.

To manifest this reality, I had to:

Focus on the wish: Deeply investigate what my dream actually looked like.

Embody the feeling: I began to live the life and feel the joy of freedom before every detail was "secure."

Visualise the future: I watched the dream play out in my mind until it became my physical reality.

Today, I still live the life of my dreams. There is an incredible, enduring freedom in realising that you can create your own life once you stop clinging to the yardsticks of others.